Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize