Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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