You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize