She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
