what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
