We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
