I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
