Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
