So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
