Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
50% drunk capacity currently
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think people are normalizing furries
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
