So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
