When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
