Heybabeimwearingurpanties
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
