I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
