my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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