i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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