this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
