Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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