you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
