The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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