just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
