Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
