My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
