there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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