i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
