I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
