Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
