Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
