hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
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You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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