why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
