I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize