what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
