I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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