it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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