Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
