it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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