I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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