My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize