i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
