and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
