matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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