Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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