do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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