Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
