Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize