its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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