Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
