Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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