I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
its not stalking. its research.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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