Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize