Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
