Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
