I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so explain again why im purple
no
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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