too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
