Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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