We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
