ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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