she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
