I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
