ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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