I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
